East Providence High School in East Providence, Rhode Island

Ayy it me da most koolio kid in dis skoolio here to drop some wisdom on this pile of emotional pain. So to begin, there are many mean bullies in dis skool. I don't mean the kind of bullies who beat you up or actually make fun of you, but the kind dat isn't explicit, but still makes you cry at night and feel unloved. U know wut i mean. Second, my religious freedoms are not respected; the teachers do not allow me to practice my worship of Rick Astley by blasting his music really loud in class. I am current filing for a lawsuit to remedy this travesty of a civil rights violation. Next, the skool was not user friendly at all. I found it difficult to locate my classes as the skool doesn't have any accommodations for the intellectually disabled. Also Ms Giammarco's geometry class gives the potent one-two punch of depression and suicidal thoughts. Also Mr. Mihalos is inconsistent with his delivery of "WADDUP MAH TOWNIE PEEEEEEEPS," which is one of the few phrases capable of temporarily remedying my depression. We never watch Carl Azuz in AP Gov, which really destroyed an entire component of my lifestyle. The teachers do not allow me to flip my flip phone in class, and the skool is removing my HOT™ skool photo from the yearbook, which is incredibly disappointing. I have no friends, and so instead of blaming myself or my personality, I choose to blame my skool and assert that no one understands my struggle. To express these feelings, I will soon be visiting HOT TOPIC in order to purchase my official brand-name goth emo gear. Everyone will see the true extent of my suffering and it will bring credence to my struggle. Obligatory Trump is a secret Russian-racist-sexist-homophobe #POLITICALCOMMENTARY. Colby Nelson needs to learn to do his own work in Computer Science, Jeremy Carlson needs a haircut, Anthony needs to get good Roblox and I need to cure my autism. Praise Rick

I moved here from Chicago and thought I would be welcomed with open arms by such a nice new school I could not have been more wrong today was my first day and I've never once been more annoyed and upset in my life as I've been today I had my classes on my phone and as I was looking at my phone to see where my next class was and I was approached and spoken to in a very disrespectful manner regarding my phone saying it's not allowed well that caused a problem to occur because how am I supposed to see what my next class is when I was told to put my phone away on THE FIRST DAY IF SCHOOL. Several students also tried to pick a fight with me when I'm from Chicago like really? The cell phone problem occurred again when I was in my carpentry class when the teacher approached me and tried to tell me to put my phone away when I have a grandmother who is dying of cancer and all I was doing was texting my mother regarding this and I was told by the teacher that it's not his problem I am absolutely disgusted by this joke of a school I consider my first day at East Providence high school a laugh upon my name